


Five Overdue Books

by bliumchik



Category: The Library (Fictional TV Show)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-12
Updated: 2014-03-12
Packaged: 2018-01-15 11:30:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1303306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bliumchik/pseuds/bliumchik





	Five Overdue Books

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gehayi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gehayi/gifts).



**How to Unread an Ending**

"Do you think this is going to work?" asks Faithful Margaret, glancing around nervously.

"I don't know. It was all I could think of," says Prince Wing.

Faithful Margaret looks into Prince Wing's miserable face. There is something she wants to say, but instead she says "All right. Which boat should we pick?"

Prince Wing looks along the pier. The first boatman has a shifty expression. The second boatman has a reputation for wild detours through really cool irrigation channels you've never heard of. The third boatman is played by the actor who played Fox in a dramatic and meaningful scene with Prince Wing nine episodes ago. Prince Wing can't look at the third boatman's face.

"We'll take number four," he says.

The fourth boatman pushes them out into the current and leans back, humming to himself. He's facing the direction they're going. The other two are facing him. Faithful Margaret opens the heavy book across her lap. She doesn't need a bookmark. She's starting from the end. "Okay," she says."

Prince Wing leans forward and says to the boatman, "Keep her steady."

Margaret begins to read, "Retfa reve ylippahnu." The river rustles and purrs, rubbing itself against the bow like a cat.

Eventually they have to come back to shore. Prince Wing thanks the boatman gloomily and tips him with a rare library stamp. Faithful Margaret puts a hand on Prince Wing's shoulder.

"We... we can try again tomorrow," she says.

**Dashed Potatoes for Mummies**

This is an earlier episode. You know because the statue of George Washington is motionless upon its pedestal, and Fox is alive. Fox is on a cooking show.

"I can't really cook," she admits to the studio audience, which mostly consists of scarab beetles and budgerigars and piano embalmers. "I made a bet with Prince Wing and lost, though, so here I am."

In this episode, Fox is played by a short, dark-skinned woman, last seen as an unfriendly librarian. Her voice then was deep and booming as she scolded Fox for folding corners on pages. Now it is Fox's breathy, squeaky voice. She is explaining the recipe she's decided to cook on the show. She is promising not to use magic on it, as that would quite ruin the flavour. She is spilling sour cream onto the recipe book. She is saying, "Oh, _mildew_." She is saying, "Don't worry, I can fix this. It'll be my next quest. Let me just finish cooking. Can anyone tell if that says teaspoon or tablespoon?"

The studio audience is split down the middle on this topic. Most of the beetles say teaspoon, and most of the budgies say tablespoon. Just to be on the safe side, Fox puts in one of each.

**The Wind, The Wind, The Sea**

This is a contested episode. It was broadcast out of order, and there are vicious debates on the forums about whether it ought to be placed before or after Prince Wing's second great falling out with Faithful Margaret, each leading to a totally different interpretation of their confrontation with Fox over the diplomatic breakdown with the octopus kingdom in the Indoor Sea on floor 16 of the People's Worldtree Library. Fox is played by a man here, a new guy - or at least, nobody's spotted him in an episode before. He's plump and blond and red-faced and his Fox-voice brings everyone to tears at the climax of her impassioned speech in the octopodes' defense. Later, she tears pages out of a book and makes a paper boat to carry them to safety while the octopus king reloads his giant ink-cannon. She never has a chance to apologise for the book.

**The Summoning of Strange Birds**

Prince Wing and Fox are on a date. Fox has arranged an exciting surprise. They hold hands and walk into the forest, and Fox drops breadcrumbs behind them, or something that looks like breadcrumbs.

When they reach the clearing, there is a small table with a red patterned table cloth, long white candles, napkins folded into origami spiders, the lot. A maitre-d, elegant white feathers peeking out from under his waistcoat, bows and offers them menus bound in some kind of bark. Two ravens in white bow-ties step up and pour wine. Fox gives Prince Wing a mischievous, gap-toothed smile and suggests they order the Special of the Day. This is a call-back to the episode where everyone's food came alive. The actor now playing Fox was a very tasty-looking Pad Thai in that episode. She had a small piece of peanut carefully attached to each freckle. The actor now playing the raven pouring wine for Prince Wing played Fox. She has lovely black eyes, the raven, but she was prettier when she was Fox. Fox is always beautiful.

A sparrow plays the viola. The special of the day turns out to be an elaborately-carved pumpkin with small pastries embedded in its surface. The carving is a maze. Fox breaks off the entrance and the exit, handing one to Prince Wing and popping the other in her mouth. "This is nice," she says. "Isn't this nice?"

Prince Wing thinks there is something Fox isn't telling him, but Prince Wing doesn't say anything. Prince Wing eats the pumpkin.

**Is There Life On Mars?**

"I don't understand why we can't tell him," Faithful Margaret says nervously. "If you need to contact this Jeremy kid, surely we should all..."

"You have to trust me," says Fox. She is golden-skinned and very tall, but a little too thin. This actor has played male characters in other episodes, and female characters, and characters that weren't meant to be either, and nobody can agree on what the actor's actual gender is. When they anticipated this actor playing Fox, as they do for most actors on The Library, they wondered if this Fox would have golden ringlets, or long, straight red hair, or black hair done up in elaborate braids, but instead Fox is completely bald. The little Fox ears stick out of her skull. This Fox has dark circles under her eyes. But she is still beautiful. She is still beautiful.

Fox leans forward and plants a delicate kiss on Faithful Margaret's mouth.

"Do you trust me, Margaret?" she asks.


End file.
